When my colleague, Nikhl Desai from the Centre of Excellence asked me to contribute to his new book one habit of successful people and my process, I was humbled, honored, and challenged.
Defining Success: Success is how you personally define it so it is highly subjective. Of course, there are the general concepts of what we would consider a successful life such as a nice home, car, great paying job, a great spouse or partner, a solid education, financial stability, a way to express one’s faith, a way to express one’s creativity, a family, and healthy social life.
My Challenge: Many times, you aren’t aware of how you do what you do - unconscious competence. You just go about your life in a way that leads you to more joy, peace, and love. It is also incredibly challenging to narrow down one habit that I would consider a cornerstone habit leading to many if not all others. For example, the habit in the picture for this blog post is one of 40 in my Excellence-Based Living Coaching Card set.
One Success Habit:
The one habit that has led me to success is to lovingly examine myself to ensure I am aligned with my core value and beliefs. This means I am continually and, oftentimes, courageously doing the work of distilling my intentions to the purest and most crystallized form that helps me develop a sense of knowing and self-confidence, not based upon external factors. Examining one’s self is different from being self-conscious. Self-consciousness breeds fear and the continual questioning of one's own legitimacy, whereas self-examination is about posturing and maintaining a positive self-regard that leads to more confidence.
Examining myself helps me to have a solid understanding of “why I do what I do” and to achieve more of my personal and professional goals. I examine myself through self-reflective practices including reading sacred passages, engaging in mindfulness, and exercising another aspect of my faith - prayer.
Perhaps most telling is when I examine myself through the sharp lens of the meaningful relationships I have with my loving family members and treasured friends. This small and mighty tribe of mine keeps me ever grounded in my values, beliefs, purpose and current set of goals I’m looking to accomplish. They inspire me to enjoy the present moment and to imagine a picture of the future in which I want to experience; one that uplifts people up for their uniqueness and differences.
This single foundational habit of examining myself leads me to nearly all other areas of success in my life worth experiencing.
Tune in for more habits of successful people in my upcoming blog post.
L. Danyetta Najoli is a professional mindset coach, author, and social innovator. For over 20 years, she has practiced minffulness and coaching people from all walks of life.