Many have seen Brene Brown's TED Talk on The Power of Vulnerability. After listening to this talk many times, working to build community alongside others, and coaching successful people over the years, it has become clear to me that vulnerability is essential to moving through life in a way that is most authentic and liberating. Being vulnerable is easier said than done. It's one thing to be vulnerable in blog posts, one-directional talks, or sermons when you don't have to talk directly to others. It's entirely another thing when you decide to be vulnerable with an actual accountability partner in the form of a spouse, friend, or co-worker. Let's unpack what it means to be vulnerable.
Vulnerable means to be capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or open to attack or damage such as pointed criticism.
For many years and for good reason, I have guarded my mind and my heart whether in my personal and professional life likely due to my childhood tragedy. I shared my story at the Reset Conference in October 2020. But a few years ago, I began realizing that you can't continue to guard yourself and, at the same time, expect to receive all the good that is to come your way.
Life is teaching me that it is better to adopt a growth mindset rather than hold onto a fixed mindset. Sometimes we can have a growth mindset in one area and a fixed mindset in another area. Here's a simple chart from Carol Dweck's book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success that helps us speak in ways that cultivate a growth mindset and helps us detect fixed mindset phrases that can so easily creep into our self-talk.
Here are four commitments I've distilled from the many agreements I've made with myself over the years. This has been groundbreaking in my life, my coaching practice, and my full-time non-profit employment.
Danyetta's Four Commitments to a Growth Mindset:
I practice vulnerability and am willing to acknowledge and expose fear, shame and embarrassment in order to get to innovation, creativity, joy, belonging, change, courage, and ultimately love.
I keep my core values and beliefs - the things that are important to me - in clear and sharp focus. I will recognize when the road to my core values and beliefs gets cloudy and when it is bright.
I am intentional about how I manifest my talents and gifts by setting boundaries and knowing when I am making concessions. I say, 'yes, no, or not now' with intention.
I say 'yes; to the hard and uncomfortable work of fulfilling my calling and 'no' to the easy path.